What sound does a giraffe make? No really, I need to know. Henry saw a picture of a giraffe yesterday and said "neigh neigh." Since I was in no position to correct him I told him his guess was as good as mine.
While we are at it, there should be some sort of manual for the non-animal loving parents. I have a hard time figuring out the noise the a hippo and a zebra make as well. Really, who comes up with stuff as the knowledge base for small children? Hardly useful information. Wouldn't it be more useful if he learned how I take my coffee in the morning?
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Things I have learned as a mother
You might want to ask why I am posting at 12:25am instead of sleeping. I have determined that it is better to get slightly less sleep than be ripped out of peaceful slumber a mere 45 minutes after you lay down. Anywho, I digress. Back to the topic at hand.
- I have learned how to pick small toys up off the floor with my toes because I can't bend over with Molly strapped to my chest. Ahh, the pregnant feeling that never really went away. Except now I can hear her screaming.
- I have learned how to fix a toy vacuum with my non-dominant hand while balancing Molly on my lap and nursing her. And making sure she doesn't get clocked in the head at the same time.
- 100 different ways to prepare chicken, using carrots, celery and onion in the recipe.
- How to make crockpot surprise for dinner. It gets rid of wilting things in the refrigerator and the freezer so that I don't have to schlepp to the store with two small children.
- I have learned that it is possible for a small child to survive and thrive for weeks while seemingly eating only apples.
- I have learned what you are willing to turn a blind eye toward to gain ten minutes of peace and quiet. Hmm, you don't hear the sound of knives clanking do you? Nah...
- I have learned that it is possible for two toddlers to destroy a clean apartment in less than 10 minutes.
- I have learned that "Mommy Brain" is a real medical condition. It is embarrassing how bad my short term memory is. Unfortunately for Adam, my long term memory for grudge holding is sharper than ever :)
- I have learned that people who say their children will never watch TV have never had to entertain a two year old for 12 hours a day.
- No matter what you like to think, a toddler will always win. I think they should put a whining two year old in the room during hostage negotiations. It would certainly speed up the process. Case in point: Henry ate a Girl Scout Samoa with his breakfast last week.
Looks like my little Molly is stirring for some food. Ahh, I can finally call it a day.
Monday, March 09, 2009
Toddler Humor
Henry is quite the comedian. He has his regular bits, but these are some recent ones:
One of his friends is always saying things are "too messy." Henry has taken the phrase as his own, but it comes out sounding like "too nasty." He loves walking around telling me that things are too nasty and laughing like a crazy boy. I'm not sure where he has even heard this word.
He has nicknamed his cousin Charley "stinky Charlie" for some reason.
He likes to give you a cup of bathwater to drink and he tells you it is apple juice. You have to pretend to drink it and then pretend to spit it everywere, exclaiming "This isn't apple juice, it's bathwater!" He acts like this is the funniest thing he has ever heard.
One of his friends is always saying things are "too messy." Henry has taken the phrase as his own, but it comes out sounding like "too nasty." He loves walking around telling me that things are too nasty and laughing like a crazy boy. I'm not sure where he has even heard this word.
He has nicknamed his cousin Charley "stinky Charlie" for some reason.
He likes to give you a cup of bathwater to drink and he tells you it is apple juice. You have to pretend to drink it and then pretend to spit it everywere, exclaiming "This isn't apple juice, it's bathwater!" He acts like this is the funniest thing he has ever heard.
How sweet it is to be loved by Henry
Henry adores Molly. I would love to say the feeling is mutual, but she is definitely coming around. She isn't terrified of him anymore, so I guess that is an improvement. She is even starting to smile at him a bit instead of quivering in fear.
Every morning when he wakes up, he walks into our room and says "He-row Baby Molly. Henry waked." He then goes over and gives her a kiss good morning. During the remainder of the day he narrates his activities for her. "Baby Molly...Henry eating breakpup (breakfast)." "Baby Molly...Henry watching WaPets (Wonderpets)." And on and on. I don't know if he really understands that she doesn't understand, but it is sweet nonetheless.
For some reason, he seems to believe that she whispers in my ear. She can't talk, yet she tells me things. It is quite hilarious. I narrate things that I want him to do, pretending Molly is saying it.
Overall, he is quite gentle with her and luckily has never tried to pick her up. He does constantly steal the socks off of her feet and the toy off of her lap.
Every morning when he wakes up, he walks into our room and says "He-row Baby Molly. Henry waked." He then goes over and gives her a kiss good morning. During the remainder of the day he narrates his activities for her. "Baby Molly...Henry eating breakpup (breakfast)." "Baby Molly...Henry watching WaPets (Wonderpets)." And on and on. I don't know if he really understands that she doesn't understand, but it is sweet nonetheless.
For some reason, he seems to believe that she whispers in my ear. She can't talk, yet she tells me things. It is quite hilarious. I narrate things that I want him to do, pretending Molly is saying it.
Overall, he is quite gentle with her and luckily has never tried to pick her up. He does constantly steal the socks off of her feet and the toy off of her lap.
Molly is THREE months old!
Boy, time certainly does fly! Here are some pictures of my sweet baby girl.
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
Speed Demon
Henry and his pals did their first road race on Sunday, a whopping 25 yards. The medal and race number made it totally worth spending the eight dollars, he talked about it all day.
Monday, March 02, 2009
What a big girl
Molly just rolled from her stomach to her back. She scared herself half to death in the process but she did it. She is taking a well-deserved rest break now. So proud!
Friday, February 27, 2009
What is the real truth?
Visiting Florida gives you a different perspective on motherhood. You encounter many women who are done with the day to day mothering of small children. Everyone tells you to enjoy the time, that their children grew much too fast. Most look back on the experience with nostalgia and say it was the best time of their lives.
I always listen to their advice very closely; I agree that the time just flies. I can't believe that my Henry is no longer a little baby and I have my Molly to love. I also agree that being a mother is the most rewarding thing I have ever done. I knew, but I never really knew, how much you could love your own children.
As someone currently in the trenches, I find it interesting that they always omit how hard it is. Do they have selective memory? Do they not want to scare you? I think they are doing a disservice by not acknowledging it. Mothering a young child, especially more than one, is back-breaking work. Each day is both physically and mentally exhausting. The breastfeeding, cooking, cleaning, laundry, diaper changing, nose-wiping, lack of sleep, crying, pacing the halls ...it is all just mind-numbing and repeats itself every day. Weekends are just another day and there is no such thing as a vacation.
There are days that I feel that I am at the brink of losing my sanity. Motherhood has pushed me to the the limits of my patience. I finally get Molly down for her fifth fifteen-minute nap of the day and Henry screams in her face, waking her. I just laid my head down to sleep at night and she wakes, wanting to be fed even though she just ate an hour ago. I am flat on my back with the flu, not able to eat but I still need to produce milk to keep another person alive. I get everyone dressed in their winter clothes to go outside and someone poops through their outfit. Most of these things you can laugh off, but some days they pile up like an accident on a freeway and you just can't take it anymore.
Is it impolite to talk of these things? Does it mean that you don't like being a mother or that you don't love your children? I think not. I think older mothers should be honest about the entire picture. There will be days that you think you might lose your mind. The isolation, the tedium, the boredom, the loss of freedom that are all part of the package.
I think if women don't talk about it, then everyone feels like they are the only one that feels this way, that they are doing something wrong. That all of these things are normal, and that despite all of this there will be days you feel like your heart is going to explode with the overwhelming love for your child. That tears will come to your eyes watching your "baby" play tag with another child for the first time. That your newborn will give you a gummy smile first thing in the morning that might be the sweetest thing you have ever seen.
I think they should say that being a parent pushes you to grow in sometimes painfully uncomfortable ways, but in the end you will be a better person for having done it. And that seeing your child grow into a happy, well-adjusted person will make it all worth it. And that it was the best time of their life.
I always listen to their advice very closely; I agree that the time just flies. I can't believe that my Henry is no longer a little baby and I have my Molly to love. I also agree that being a mother is the most rewarding thing I have ever done. I knew, but I never really knew, how much you could love your own children.
As someone currently in the trenches, I find it interesting that they always omit how hard it is. Do they have selective memory? Do they not want to scare you? I think they are doing a disservice by not acknowledging it. Mothering a young child, especially more than one, is back-breaking work. Each day is both physically and mentally exhausting. The breastfeeding, cooking, cleaning, laundry, diaper changing, nose-wiping, lack of sleep, crying, pacing the halls ...it is all just mind-numbing and repeats itself every day. Weekends are just another day and there is no such thing as a vacation.
There are days that I feel that I am at the brink of losing my sanity. Motherhood has pushed me to the the limits of my patience. I finally get Molly down for her fifth fifteen-minute nap of the day and Henry screams in her face, waking her. I just laid my head down to sleep at night and she wakes, wanting to be fed even though she just ate an hour ago. I am flat on my back with the flu, not able to eat but I still need to produce milk to keep another person alive. I get everyone dressed in their winter clothes to go outside and someone poops through their outfit. Most of these things you can laugh off, but some days they pile up like an accident on a freeway and you just can't take it anymore.
Is it impolite to talk of these things? Does it mean that you don't like being a mother or that you don't love your children? I think not. I think older mothers should be honest about the entire picture. There will be days that you think you might lose your mind. The isolation, the tedium, the boredom, the loss of freedom that are all part of the package.
I think if women don't talk about it, then everyone feels like they are the only one that feels this way, that they are doing something wrong. That all of these things are normal, and that despite all of this there will be days you feel like your heart is going to explode with the overwhelming love for your child. That tears will come to your eyes watching your "baby" play tag with another child for the first time. That your newborn will give you a gummy smile first thing in the morning that might be the sweetest thing you have ever seen.
I think they should say that being a parent pushes you to grow in sometimes painfully uncomfortable ways, but in the end you will be a better person for having done it. And that seeing your child grow into a happy, well-adjusted person will make it all worth it. And that it was the best time of their life.
South Florida Catnip
We just returned from Molly's "Boca Raton Debut." We had a fun weekend visiting her great-grandma and great-grandpa Ruth and Jack. They of course loved meeting her, and still think that the sun rises and sets on Henry.
A funny thing happened at the hotel every morning. I would bring her to the breakfast facing forward in the baby carrier, which I don't normally do (she faces inward sleeping most of the time). Every day she was literally accosted by women of a certain age. I barely had time to eat my breakfast, I was spending so much time answering questions about her. People were even shouting across the restaurant confirming information about her. "You were right Mortie, she is 11 weeks old!" This happened so many times it was almost bizarre. Two women even insisted on holding her. One lady pushed her walker over to our table, plopped down into a chair and said "I can't stop myself, I need to hold her" and grabbed her out of my arms.
She's a cutie, that's for sure!
A funny thing happened at the hotel every morning. I would bring her to the breakfast facing forward in the baby carrier, which I don't normally do (she faces inward sleeping most of the time). Every day she was literally accosted by women of a certain age. I barely had time to eat my breakfast, I was spending so much time answering questions about her. People were even shouting across the restaurant confirming information about her. "You were right Mortie, she is 11 weeks old!" This happened so many times it was almost bizarre. Two women even insisted on holding her. One lady pushed her walker over to our table, plopped down into a chair and said "I can't stop myself, I need to hold her" and grabbed her out of my arms.
She's a cutie, that's for sure!
Saturday, February 14, 2009
My Standards
There is an unspoken rule at the playground/playgroups that you don't come all dolled up. Doing so does not earn friends; it only serves to highlight how unshowered/flabby/unfashionable/fill in the blanks everyone else is. I say this tongue in cheek, but moms of toddlers are generally not the most well put together bunch. Merely getting out of the house is seen as a victory.
I had been thinking recently however, that now that I was not pregnant I should buy some new clothes and start putting myself together a bit better. I was having this conversation at the playground with my friend Jill, who also has a toddler and a newborn. As we are talking, I reach up and feel a small, hard item stuck in my hair.
I pull it out and inspect it. It is clearly one of Henry or Molly's "nose excretions." Gross, but certainly not unusual given the nature of my work. Jill and I had a good laugh about it and I decided that my new standard was going to be not leaving the house with childrens' boogers in my hair.
I really aim high, don't I?
I had been thinking recently however, that now that I was not pregnant I should buy some new clothes and start putting myself together a bit better. I was having this conversation at the playground with my friend Jill, who also has a toddler and a newborn. As we are talking, I reach up and feel a small, hard item stuck in my hair.
I pull it out and inspect it. It is clearly one of Henry or Molly's "nose excretions." Gross, but certainly not unusual given the nature of my work. Jill and I had a good laugh about it and I decided that my new standard was going to be not leaving the house with childrens' boogers in my hair.
I really aim high, don't I?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)