Things I never realized

Living with young children is a unique experience. Some recent examples of our mutual education:

1) Children will talk anywhere and everywhere about their bathroom habits and gas issues. The elevator is a favorite venue. Molly has announced her accomplishments more than once in a crowded restaurant. She rarely waits until she gets to the table either.

2) For some crazy reason, I gave Molly a container of dried beans to play with. Maybe to get her to stop saying "Mommy pick me up" every three seconds while I am cooking dinner. The more dangerous the kitchen activity is the more she wants to help. Henry of course had to get into the mix. While I was not looking he decided to stuff cups full of beans down his sleeve. He was quite surprised at what happened when he lowered his arm. I have been finding beans for days.

3) It is a bad idea to allow your four year old to get your two year old dressed. We recently embarked on a drive to Long Island where we would be gone the entire day. I was not until we had left the house that I realized that Henry had made the executive decision to swap Molly's pull up for underwear. Of course I had no extra clothing with me either. She did great the entire day. She peed in every restaurant and gas station in the town of Port Washington. She decided to wait until our entrees arrived to let me know that she had just peed on the booth of a rather nice restaurant. Adam quickly learned that this meaned that no, we could not stay.

4) When your daughter announces that she is using the front of her dress instead of toilet paper, she is not kidding.

5) Your child will look at the man who sat down next to him on the subway bench and announce that "that man has a beard growing out of his nose." Oh, and that he does not like his shoes either.

6) I cannot believe how perceptive kids are. Adam recently got dressed to go out to dinner one snowy Saturday night. His boots were wet from sledding so he put on sneakers so that he didn't ruin any good shoes. Henry took one look at him in his white sneakers, jeans, belt and long sleeved polo shirt and declared: " Daddy, what are you wearing? You look like Jerry Seinfeld!" You know it is time for a makeover when your four year old is ripping on your outfit.

7) We were recently doing a puppet craft kit that we had done at Henry's co-op preschool at almost one year ago. Molly piped up with "Oh, we did they at Laura's house!" She was between 1 year and 18 months a the oldest. How the heck does she remember this?

There are so many other things but these are the crazy things that come to mind