Oh Kerri, you don't know what you are in for!

I will be a bridesmaid in my friend Kerri's wedding on July 15th. A big responsibility in a normal wedding but more so this time because:

1. Kerri is extremely particular, and is planning a very lovely wedding. I don't want to be the person that ruins her big day.
2. I will be 7 months pregnant, and the bridesmaid dress does not come in maternity sizes.

So, I have been trusted to order extra fabric to make my dress fit. It is a bad idea to entrust me with this responsibility for many reasons.

1. I do not have an innate fashion sense.
2. My tailor does not speak ANY English, and I had to speak to him entirely in pantomime as I don't speak ANY Korean.
3. The owner of the store speaks some English, so he helped with the translation. But he does call Adam "Mr. Chanel." And, looking right at my stomach congratulated Adam on his upcoming wedding. And, referred to me as Adam's Friend even though he has met me many times. (I think Adam might have another life by the way.)
4. Pregnancy brain. I went outside in my slippers last week. It didn't occur to me that the reason that the top of the dress fit so poorly was that pregnant women cannot wear a bustier with boning. Thank you to the groom's sister for educating me on that fact. (She did go to the Fashion Institute of Technology.)
5. I let Janice measure herself for Merri's wedding with a metal measuring tape meant for construction projects.
6. I purchased pointy toed shoes for Janice and I to wear in Merri's wedding. If you have ever seen Janice's feet, the words Fred Flintstone come to mind. Needless to say, these were not a good fit. They were even worse when she had them stretched to look like clogs with pointy toes.

But, in my defense:

1. I pantomimed to the tailor and his merry band of translators that it was not a good idea to take in the bust portion of my dress. I then had to have the discussion that things other than your stomach grow while pregnant. This was in the middle of a store crowded with customers.
2. Despite my limited mental faculties, I had the forsight to wear a tanktop under the dress for the fitting. This was especially helpful when the tailor (who was about 80) let go of the top and it fell on the floor. His initial gasp needed no translation.

So, I am cautiously optimistic about the outcome of this project. I do have one recommendation for anyone attending the wedding with me. PLEASE DON'T LET KERRI WALK BEHIND ME!