Houston, we have a problem...

We went to Target (because it is closer than Babys 'R Us and Buy Buy Baby) today to look at strollers and see what other baby stuff is out there. We are definitely not cut out for this baby stuff. A few problems:

1. Do baby items really need to be so big? I mean come on, the kid is just 8 lbs and these "necessities" are HUGE! We barely have room for our own stuff; this baby is not getting the type of square footage that he/she has been dreaming about in the womb.
2. Why does everything have to be plastic? I can answer this myself, because apparently these little buggers are quite messy. Which, we need to talk about...
3. What is with all of these cutesy patterns? I can understand in the nursery, but bunnies, ducks and who knows what else definitely do not fit in with our decor! Restoration Hardware needs to come out with an exersaucer in "Silver Sage" raw silk and I know it would be a big seller.
4. We both hate to shop. I personally thought looking at baby things might be a little bit fun, but nope, I was wrong. I also gave Adam too much credit. He has been so involved in reading all of the books I bring home on child birth, baby care etc. that I thought he would be on board. Wrong again! We were not there five minutes before he said, "I thought your sister was going to pick this stuff out for us." He did find a pair of duck slippers for the baby that he liked. So, at least she will have warm feet.
5. Adam works for an insurance company, so therefore we have very exaggerated safety requirements for consumer products. Call me crazy, but from what I witnessed not many items are going to make the cut! I think the wheels being off one carriage and the seat falling off of another did not give him the feeling that he was looking for.
6. Can someone tell me why babies don't take baths in the sink anymore? There were these GIANT plastic tubs that you are supposed to use. Where the heck am I supposed to put that thing when not in use? Perhaps we can turn it into some sort of kitschy wall art.
7. We didn't even make it down the textiles aisle. I am still baffled as to who the baby is "receiving" in those tiny blankets and why they need a duck on their head after taking a bath.
8. Is it just me, or do all of those little plastic toys look the same?

Calling all interested parties...we are going to have a dirty, naked, bored baby without your help. If someone wants to pick out some things for Baby Schnell I would be happy to send you my credit card number!