Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Reflection on Love

In honor of St. Valentine's Day, I think it is appropriate that I write a post on "Love."

A friend of mine once told me that she loved her son much more than she loved her husband. And she openly told her husband this. At the time, I thought this was the meanest thing that I had ever heard. The husband is a perfectly nice guy and they seem to have a great marriage. Since having Henry I understand this sentiment more, but I think she could have phrased it better.

The love I have for Henry and Adam is very different. My love for Henry is very pure. It has no expectation that he will love me back. It has no expectation that he does anything to earn it. It has no conditions. It has no memory and holds no grudges. No matter how tough the day was, or how feisty he is, my heart just overflows when I look at him. It has never been tainted by disappointment or anger or temporary neglect. I love Henry because he exists, and that is it. Perhaps that is a good lesson for me. I think if we dropped some of the baggage that comes along with marital love it would be very freeing. I don't mean just sticking your head in the sand and pretending that there is no history. But just love your spouse because they exist. Maybe I'll give it a whirl a cut Adam a little slack (for a day or so!)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Lump...Vanessa who knew you were such a talented writer! So true...I loved reading every word and realizing you have a knack for putting into words how so many of us feel about our children! :)