Thursday, April 26, 2007

April 25th, 2007

Also to be known as the day Henry almost broke his mother.

Henry woke at a reasonable hour and we had a nice leisurely morning. He took a thirty minute nap, I showered and then we met my friend Shawn and her son Miles to attend a mom/baby exercise class together. The class was fantastic, and Henry had a great time. He laughed and hammed it up the entire class. He showed off his tricks for the teacher: sitting up and playing peek-a-boo with his blanket.

He crashed afterward in the stroller, which he usually does after any sort of class. He slept for a whole ten minutes on the walk home and then was wide awake. I was trying to shop at the drug store and he proceeded to cry and whine the entire time. After hot-footing it out of there we went home. He played in his room, but proceeded to give me the fat lip every time I left his view.

I tried to get him to nap again but he was having no part of this. We had already made plans to meet another friend and her son that afternoon for a quick trip to Target, so off we went. He was wide awake the entire time and fidgety enough that it was not a relaxing trip. He wouldn't sit in the stroller so I had to drag him around in the Bjorn. He fell asleep in the car for the last five minutes of the trip (and did not sit quietly for the first part) and woke up as soon as we hit the garage.

It was now 4:30pm and he had napped for a whole forty-five minutes that day. He was over-tired and very crabby. He refused to play, he refused to nap, he flailed when I held him, he screamed when I sat down. I must add that I have been in the throes of a massive allergy attack. I broke down and taken some Claritin, which keeps me awake much of the night. It also had been suppressing my appetite, so the only thing I had eaten that day was a bowl of oatmeal and a slice of ham.

Anyway, my head was throbbing, I couldn't breathe through my nose, I was exhausted but jittery, starving and sneezing up a storm. There was no way I could get through another three hours until his bedtime without a break. Adam had a business event that night so I was on my own for dinner. I put him in the stroller over his hollers of protest and hit the pavement. I had to turn back once because I realized I still had my slippers on. I made it five steps on the sidewalk before I noticed it was raining. Well, too late now. I put the rain cover on his stroller and trudged down the block in my quest to get Henry asleep and find some food. I had no umbrella and was wearing flip flops.

He was awake on the ten block walk to the grocery store, and the entire time I was there. I said screw it and just walked across the street to McDonald's. Gross, I know. I picked up a newspaper in the hopes of reading it with my food once he fell asleep. The drugs must have been making me delusional. He was awake while I ordered my food and then he proceeded to scream. Screamed while I waited, screamed while I tried to get a soda, screamed while 10 people decided to get in my way while I was leaving. He screamed for the entire 10 block walk home. About 2 blocks into the walk the rain ripped a hole in my bag and my beloved Diet Coke with real caffeine went splattering on the sidewalk. About 5 blocks later, he kicked off both of his blankets and they landed on the wet sidewalk. I then proceeded to run them over with the stroller. I picked the wet, muddy blankets off the ground and forged on. I am sure I got plenty of dirty looks. Who is this crazed, soaking wet woman frantically pushing a screaming baby with no blankets and his socks hanging off, all while eating french fries and cursing under her breath?

We arrived home, I dumped my bags, put the still pissed off Henry on the bed and peeled off my wet clothes. I sat him down on the couch with me while I ate and he was suddenly all smiles. Laughing and cooing like the previous hour never happened. He proceeded to stay awake for the next TWO hours, and it took me almost an hour to get him to sleep. Every time I laid him down, he woke up. Once I finally got him to sleep he woke every time I blew my nose. I kid you not. I was thisclose to cracking. If I saw a band of gypsies I swear I would have handed him off.

Vent over.

2 comments:

Meredith said...

I'm peeing!

Irene said...

Vanessa, from a new mommy as well...that was the funniest damn thing i have ever read! you must compile this into a manuscript. i swear it would make the best seller list. Asolutely hilarious... keep 'em coming!