Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Such a Rookie Move

Molly loves to color. Loves loves loves it. I decided to go to IKEA today to buy her an easel since she loved the one at her friend's house. Why not get some paint too right? This for the child who covers herself with any marker she finds, colors on my walls...

This evening I decided to set them both up with the paint at the easel while I made dinner and unpacked the IKEA bags. Going well...why haven't I done this earlier? My poor little art deprived children.

First I notice the paint footprints on the wood floor. OK. Back to unpacking the bags and loading the new dishes in the dishwasher. Every three second "wash my hands" "wash my brush" "more paint!" Start the dinner and am interupted every 5 seconds to wipe paint from the floor or stop Molly from pouring her own paint. I look over an Molly looks like a teenage mutant ninga turtle with a swipe of paint across her face. They got paint on the refrigerator multiple times. Then the fighting starts. OK, time to pull the plug.

Dinner on the stove, kids covered in paint. Oops, can't give them a bath because I am waiting for the grocery delivery. Strip them in the kitchen and carry them to the bathroom so they don't get paint covered footprints everywhere. Swab Molly down and not noticing that Henry is smearing hand soap all over his feet and legs. Drop him into the tub to rinse his feet. Put him down on a hand towel b/c of course the bathroom is devoid of towels when you need them. Henry shouts "She's peeing on the floor!" Look down at big puddle of pee. Of course the doorbell rings at that exact second. Throw hand towel down on puddle of pee and race to get the door for the groceries. Convince children that delivery man does not need to see them naked and quarantine them to their room.

Answer door, try to put away perishables. Two naked kids, dinner on the stove, boxes of groceries everywhere, place is a mess with the packaging from the shopping. Get a diaper on Molly and Henry dresses himself. Molly is now rooting through the groceries getting her own snack. Throw 2 bananas into the monkey cage and run into the kitchen to rescue dinner.

Grab pork chops from oven and blazing pan heat goes through pot holder and I drop the pan. Oil splatters into oven dripping into fire and the stove starts shooting flames Slam door shut, turn off oven, start opening doors and windows in hallway to avoid smoke alarm going off.Smoke clears, feed Molly some dinner b/c she didn't nap and is going to bed early.

Adam walks in and of course is not hungry because he "had a big lunch" Henry refused to eat anything but a yogurt. I am as sick as a dog so I don't want to eat. Dinner goes in fridge basically uneaten except for a few toddler nibbles.

I am blaming my stupidity on the cold medicine that I am doped up on. Really that is the only explanation. Tomorrow I am going back to anesthesizing them with TV while I get things done. Really much more effective

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