Thursday, June 28, 2007

Baby Shrink?

I am not sure if we should keep saving for Henry's college or just start saving for his therapy. My crazy little baby has the most severe case of separation anxiety that I have ever heard of. The babysitter that worked out so well during the trial run has come by twice since, with near disastrous results.

He was OK when he saw her the second time, but wouldn't play with her, let her feed him, and if I moved even an inch away, he cried. When he realized we were leaving, he screamed his head off. She got him to bed in about 20 minutes, but he cried until that point. She said she had never heard a baby cry like that, and that she felt like she was torturing him just being there. She was very close to telling us she wouldn't watch him.

The third time she came, we needed to leave for a wedding. The minute he saw her, he let out the most blood curdling scream. He screamed and screamed and screamed. He only stopped screaming when I took him from Adam and patted her arm in a very exaggerated manner. The screaming commenced again when we walked out the door. She got him to bed in about 15 minutes, and he slept until midnight. She fed him a bottle, and then he realized who it was. She said he cried again, and she just put him in his crib so that he didn't get even more worked up. She stood by the door and he cried "Mama" for about five minutes before falling asleep. Forget Henry, I think I need the shrink too after hearing that!

If he didn't treat his grandparents this way too, I would be worried about her. I am just thankful that she can get him to sleep quickly, and that we don't have daytime engagements! He has gotten so bad that even his Grandpa, whom he sees every week without fail, is not allowed to hold him. Even if I am in the same room. Forget about me actually leaving the room to do something. You would think he was being murdered. He cries so hard that snot comes out of his nose and he is shaking. The only way I can get any break is if Adam is home. Thank God that he will go to him.

The conventional wisdom is that I just need to leave him so that he gets used to it. However, as easy as this sounds, if you heard him crying you would not be able to do it. It is not a normal sounding cry, it is heart piercing. It practically brings me to tears. The funny part is that he is actually very friendly. If I am holding him, he will smile, wave and talk to everyone he sees. We joke that he is the Mayor of Washington Heights.

Anyway, that is my current and ongoing drama. It is a little bit funny, but really quite upsetting. I would love for him to go to people more easily, so that others can enjoy him like I do. I know everyone tries to pinpoint what I have done "wrong" to make him this way. Even if I did do something to cause this, I don't think I would do something different next time. I don't want to change my parenting philososphy that covers 99% of the time to make the other 1% of the time easier. I really think it is his personality, and treating him differently wouldn't change things. I hate to see him in distress and am glad that he won't remember it. I just keep hoping that this passes soon!

I wanted to document this so that when Henry won't kiss me goodbye in front of his friends, he can read this and know that it was not always the case!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You are not doing anything wrong, you are a great mother, you were very attached to me as a toddler and from what I am told Adam was also a mommas boy. Its in his genes and you two turned out very well adjusted. Also, you were never forced to go or stay with anyone you didn't feel comfortable with.