Exhibit A

Adam has made the request that I post this picture. Since he does not even read the blog (I kid you not), I figured I would humor him and maybe get a few post ideas or contributions from his point of view in the future.

Anyway, he thinks that this is the first fish that I have ever caught on his boat. I know this is not true, I have caught a few others but he always makes me throw them back. ("Almost a keeper, but just a little bit too small...") It must be some strange caveman gene in him, because we only eat fish that he has caught.

But, he was very proud of me and insisted on commemerating the occasion with a photo (which he also wants to put in his office. At work.) I agreed to post the picture selfishly to exhibit what a fibber he is. He tells me that I don't look any different, including my face (other than the alien belly button which I told my niece Reece was the baby's finger). Do you see how chubby my face looks? So bizarre.

Adam's Other Baby

For those of you who have not had the pleasure of a trip with Captain Adam, here are some pictures for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy!

And we have a winner...

Proving that this process is not at all democratic, we have selected a bedding set that only had one vote...

Pottery Barn Kids A to Z

Merri is the only one allowed to come into the nursery! I gave Adam the final say since I like all of them. On this one, I liked the bright colors and that there were a lot of things to look at. Adam liked it because it had a cheeseburger on it. To each his own...

P.S. (We know who voted. Don't bother sucking up to us and putting in a last minute vote that agrees with our choice, or trying to change your vote. Too late! Baby S won't care if you don't like his/her room, but don't be surprised if she spits up on you or he pees on you. This kid will have a memory like an elephant! But don't worry Mer, he/she will always like you.)

Thanks Brenda!

We came home from our trip today to a lovely surprise in our mailbox. Adam's cousin Brenda sent us a book entitled Eats, Poops and Leaves. The subtitle is "The Essential Apologies, Rationalizations, and Downright Denials Every New Parent Needs to Know and other Fundamentals of Baby Etiquette."

The book looks hysterical and extremely helpful! I will definitely take it seriously, as Brenda is almost to be considered an expert. She is the MOTHER OF TWO YEAR OLD TWIN BOYS!

Thanks Brenda!

Back in Blogland

Well, we are back from our short trip to Bermuda. We left on Tuesday morning to help my brother Kevin celebrate his 40th birthday. Kevin and his family took a cruise there for a week and we flew down to meet them. A great time was had by all.

If you have never been, Bermuda is a very beautiful country and a nice place to visit. It is only an hour and a half plane ride from NY, so it is a nice quick getaway. The people there are all extremely gracious and friendly, and very, very proper. The island is spotlessly clean, and picturesque. We had great weather, and spent a lot of time relaxing at the pool and beach.

We even snuck in a short fishing trip this morning before we left. Of course, Adam was pulling in fish left and right, and I didn't catch any. I did manage to lose a lot of bait however, and even had a fish eat my hook. The fishing trip did give me a new way to describe Baby Schnell's current movement pattern to Adam. We saw a school of fish that were shaped like very small dolphins near our boat. They were jumping in and out if the water very erratically, but enthusiastically. I told him that is what the baby feels like right now. A very long, skinny fish flopping around in my stomach.

The only downside to Bermuda is that it is very expensive. We are used to NYC prices and considered it expensive, so it is that bad! But, in their defense, they have a very short tourist season, and most of their items need to be imported from other countries. We will definitely go back again.

In other news, congratulations to Cousin Judy on the birth of her first grandchild! Her grandson Jack was born on Tuesday, and I have heard that Erin and baby are doing well. I will miss her frequent commentary on the blog, as I am sure she will be very busy with her new grandson.

Voting time again...

Thanks to Cousin Judy, one of my regular, loyal readers (who will be a Grandma any day I hear!) I found out that Baby Gap now sells crib bedding. See below for a few I like there and on Pottery Barn Kids (PBK). Check them out and let me know in the comments section which ones you like.

1. Baby Gap: Safari
2. Baby Gap: Forest Friends
3. Baby Gap: Barnyard
4. PBK: A to Z
5. PBK: Twinkle Twinkle
6. PBK: Farmyard Friends

Feel free to vote for more than one.

P.S. Don't torture yourself by looking at the girl specific bedding. It is TOO cute.

P.P.S. I have heard that I have a few readers outside of the Grandmas. Feel free to weigh in on topics, I don't mind! Don't be shy!

Scenes from the wedding

22 weeks, 27 weeks, 35 weeks

The girls and the beautiful bride

What a handsome bunch

Caught in the act

Today's Appointment

Today's OB checkup was uneventful. Blood pressure is fine (120/70), baby's heartrate is fine (140), fundal height on target (28 cm), and I lost three pounds since my last appointment. He questioned me about that, but I think my weight was not accurate at the last appt (I had just eaten lunch and I normally have appointments in the morning.) So, I am up 11 pounds overall. He also recommended that I try liquid Maalox before and after every meal to help with the throwing up. It is worth a try, although it has been unsuccessful so far today!

He was also the third doctor I have met in the rotation there, and he seems very nice. So, I would be happy with any of the three doing the delivery at this point. That is all to report.

What is happening during Week 29

The baby now weighs about 2.7 lbs (1.2kg), measures about 10.4 inches (26cm) from crown to rump, and is around 16.7 inches (42cm) long. He is plumper and rounder, and his head and body are beginning to be in proportion.
The baby now uses all of his senses. He can see, taste, recognize touch and the sound of your voice.
During the last trimester, the baby will receive antibodies from you through your placenta that will provide immunity from many diseases.

28 Weeks

Wow...28 weeks today. 7 months, and officially in the third trimester. In some respects, this whole experience is going very quickly and in others it seems like forever. I really can't believe we have made it this far, and I don't want to wish it away. Many people have mentioned to me how much they enjoyed being pregnant and missed it when it was over. It really is a bonding experience with so many people; they love sharing their memories and experiences and I enjoy hearing about them. Also, I would imagine that it is a lot easier to take care of a baby in uterero then when it is out in the world!

So, other than the stomach ailments and the whole hellish months getting here, I have to say the experience has been quite enjoyable. Luckily, I have not suffered the aches and pains that so many other people have complained of and am still sleeping well.

I haven't posted the "What is happening during Week xx" recently that I receive on line, so I will bore you with one now. I personally find it very interesting to know about the developmental milestones.

What's New in Baby Schnell's World

Hmm, haven't posted anything in a while, so this will just be a general recap of recent events.

1. Kerri's wedding was beautiful. Unfortunately, she had a mild case of the flu so she wasn't feeling as well as she might have hoped on her big day. But, all in attendance had a great time.
2. The dress fit with some minor (ok major) alterations from Kerri's new sister in law Gina. This girl is like McGuyver! She took one look at my dress, demanded that I take it off, turn it inside out, and she started sewing with it on me! Who knew alterations could be done like this? She made it fit much tighter on top and I didn't have to wear that hideous torture device known as the strapless bra. Whew! I never would have made it in that thing whose band size is now 2 inches too small due to my ever growing ribcage.
3. Baby Schnell LOVES shrimp cocktail. Especially the big, fancy shrimp with extra spicy cocktail sauce that Kerri and Mike were so generous to provide! We went on line twice for that!
4. Baby Schnell also has a huge sweet tooth! Not only was I forced to eat two pieces of cake (very delicious by the way), but I also ate a good amount of the mini pastries that they put on each table. I did this while everyone was otherwise occupied to make sure I got a prime selection (shameless I know). When those were gone, someone had the brilliant idea to hit the table next to us, who had already gone home (the wedding ended at 1am). I ate their Napoleons too. How I passed my Gestational Diabetes test, I do not know.
5. Adam thinks I have a mental block against going on the boat. Mysteriously, I start dry heaving whenever it is time for us to leave. There may be something to that theory! However, in my defense, he clearly likes to stay out too long and he is much more tolerant of the boat rocking and heat than I am. Also, he leaves at 6am most of the time. Not my idea of fun. But, hopefully the baby has a stronger stomach than I do or Adam is going to be a lonely man! (Or the ugly alternative, boat-less).
6. Due to the occupations of the original owners of my maternity clothing (nurse, teacher, stay at home mom), I leave for work most days looking like I am attending a clam bake.
7. I have read that the baby develops taste buds in the third trimester. Certain theories state that they can develop an affinity for foods eaten during that time. I am trying to work this to my advantage by eating lots of vegetables and spicy food. The baby has sampled Vietnamese and Thai food recently. The spicy noodles made her go wild that afternoon!
8. I went to Baby's R Us without Adam last night. Should have done that in the first place! Those scanners are very dangerous!

Anyway, that is all for now. I have a doctor's appointment on Friday, I will post after that.

Why Adam is the greatest husband ever...

We have a wonderful cleaning lady that comes every Wednesday morning at 8:30 am sharp. We try not to leave our crap lying around when she comes because that will distract her from what we really want her to do. So, every Wednesday morning we do a lot of scurrying around putting away our stuff. Why don't we do it the night before? Please, Dear Reader, hasn't it already been established that we are lazy procratinators?

Anyway, I have a small problem getting up in the morning. I normally rise for work at 8am and just stay later. But, since I am even more tired than normal and having trouble sleeping (getting up 3 times to pee doesn't help, trying to hug that damn body pillow and stay on my side, hot flashes etc.) getting up in the morning is positively excruciating.

So, back to our title's topic. For the past few weeks, Adam has left me sleeping and done all of the clean up himself! Today's effort was especially heroic since I had left the unsold remnants from our building yard sale in our foyer all week. Not what you want to be cleaning up at seven in the morning.

Isn't he the best?

P.S. "Why Adam is in the Doghouse"

While cleaning up, he threw out the rest of the Duncan Hines boxed brownies that I made on Sunday. I have been craving them for WEEKS and finally made them. I had just finished all of the delicious edges and was starting on the middle. When I asked him why, he just said that "You were done." According to whom I might ask?

Whew! Dodged that bullet

중대한 일!

In case you don't have special characters installed on your computer, that says "Great Job!" in Korean. Now, if I could only figure out to pronounce it!

After a rocky start, the dress for Kerri's wedding is done. It was rocky because it wasn't ready until the THIRD time I went to get it. Between the dress and the shoes, which were not ready on the first visit either (What is with these places? Do quoted deadlines mean nothing?) Poor Kerri, I think I was giving her a heart attack that she might be short one bridesmaid!

He did a really nice job on it, you can barely tell it has been altered. He just added a triangular panel in the back, which sounds strange but works. Think of it as a "reverse dart." Although I should have taken their advice and had them take in the top. Right now, I am giving quite the peep show to people that are taller than me. I tried it on with a strapless bra to fill it out a little better, but I can only wear that if I don't mind not breathing all day! My ribcage has expanded so much that it is a tad bit constricting.

I still have to worry a little bit about the skirt. He told me not to alter the skirt because it would be too hard. So, I am pulling it over my belly like "Urkle" instead of wearing it below like "Britney." This solves the length problem (no hemming and my belly doesn't hang below the top) but I need to wear it unzipped a little. We may have some footage for "America's Funniest Home Videos" if the skirt decides to fall down while I am walking down the aisle! Certainly in the realm of possibility!

Oh, and I forgot to add this part. He did such a nice job on the alteration that I don't look pregnant. I just look like I have a gut. Wonderful.

26 Week Appointment

This week I had the Glucose Tolerance Test (GTT), blood drawn to test my counts (not sure what they are counting, perhaps someone could tell me?), he listened to the heartbeat and measured my uterus. The tests came back fine, the heartrate was 150 ish and my uterus measured 27 centimeters. (It should be your number of weeks +/- 1 cm). He thinks I am up to 13 lbs gained, but my calculations are that I have gained 9 lbs so far. He was concerned that I had a 7 lb jump in 3 weeks. I think the discrepancy is that I normally weigh myself every morning, and this time I had an afternoon appt and was fully dressed.. I had just eaten lunch and drank two bottles of water, plus I had to drink the disgusting orange soda drink for the GTT. So, I think I will still be at +13lbs at my next appt as well. Adam thinks that I am eating more junk food (I am, I feel like I have been released from prison! And I have massive sugar cravings), but now I am back on the straight and narrow.

I now start having appointments every two weeks, and begin the rotation with the other 4 doctors in the practice. This is to get you used to everyone else, because you are not sure who will be on call when you deliver. So, hopefully I like them all.

I also had to register for the hospital, and decide whether I want a private or semi-private room. Being as frugal as I am, I opted for the semi-private room. But, Adam has indicated that he doesn't want to sleep over anyway, so I don't need the private room. See how spoiled the Tempurpedic mattress makes you? :)

26 Week Belly Shot

Mommy, why is that pig being led off to slaughter?

I am currently on a kick about decorating the nursery to look like a farm. I have lots of ideas for the crib set Grandma Karen has been coerced into making and for the mural on the walls. I know, I waffle back and forth on themes, and whether we should wait until after Baby S. is born. But the farm theme might strike some of you as a little funny.

As a bit of history for the uninitiated, I was forced to move to Upstate, NY as a small child. Here, my parents decided to pretend that they were farmers. We had a huge garden, 2 horses, 2 pigs, 6 chickens, and a rooster. We also made our own bread, ate the eggs from our chickens, pasteurized our own milk from the real farm down the road, canned our own peaches, tomato sauce, applesauce, jam and pickles. We also "put up" all sorts of vegetables in the freezer for the winter. We heated our house with wood that we chopped ourselves. Sounds very "Norman Rockwell-esque" so far, doesn't it?

Well, besides the fact that the place was run like a child labor camp it was lovely. It was not until I moved back to Long Island that I found out that other children did not play "cleaning games" and chop wood for fun. They all had cable TV (we only had CBS) and saw a lot more movies than I saw those five years (I saw one. It was ET). They didn't snip the tips off beans for hours, trudge out to feed their animals in a blizzard, or de-seed and peel bushels of tomatoes. Nor, did they have to kill their pets with their bare hands. (What? Did she really say that?)

Yes folks, the music you hear playing in the background is really horror music. We innocently skipped out to the yard one day for another round of "Farm Olympics." This day seemed a little different though, because there was a shotgun, a hatchet and a cauldron of boiling water! Today was chicken killing day! Hooray! Another time, I got to watch my two pet pigs have feed sacks put over their heads and be led onto the back of the pickup truck. Where they playing a bovine version of Hide and Seek? Were they going for a joyride? Nope, they were going to the slaughter house! The next time I saw Charlotte and Joyce, they were in neatly labled white packages in our freezer. Except for some reason, their names had be changed. They were now called Bacon, Pork Chops, Ham Steak...

This mural should be very interesting...

Yes, we ARE that pathetic...

I am embarrassed admit this...

I was THRILLED when I opened my work email box this morning and saw an email from Baby's 'R Us Registry Department. No, dear readers, we did not have a change of heart and get off our asses (I can say that, the baby can't read yet) and register. My wonderful, helpful sister started it for us last night after she got home from work. (It is a work in progress, so don't get all huffy. We will be adding to it.) I guess my earlier ideas (baby hammock, co-sleeper, sling, $800 dollar stroller, no changing table or high chair etc.) did not fill her with confidence that we knew what we were doing. I think at one point she may have even called me an "idiot." (But I have blocked that out.) Good thing I haven't started discussing Hypnobirthing with her yet, I am sure she will LOVE that idea.

To add to your horror, one of Adam's co-workers sent him a list of baby items that she thought we needed. She even included pictures. These were things she has already researched or uses with her baby. I guess the word of our incompetence/laziness is spreading!

Thank you helpful people!

Houston, we have a problem...

We went to Target (because it is closer than Babys 'R Us and Buy Buy Baby) today to look at strollers and see what other baby stuff is out there. We are definitely not cut out for this baby stuff. A few problems:

1. Do baby items really need to be so big? I mean come on, the kid is just 8 lbs and these "necessities" are HUGE! We barely have room for our own stuff; this baby is not getting the type of square footage that he/she has been dreaming about in the womb.
2. Why does everything have to be plastic? I can answer this myself, because apparently these little buggers are quite messy. Which, we need to talk about...
3. What is with all of these cutesy patterns? I can understand in the nursery, but bunnies, ducks and who knows what else definitely do not fit in with our decor! Restoration Hardware needs to come out with an exersaucer in "Silver Sage" raw silk and I know it would be a big seller.
4. We both hate to shop. I personally thought looking at baby things might be a little bit fun, but nope, I was wrong. I also gave Adam too much credit. He has been so involved in reading all of the books I bring home on child birth, baby care etc. that I thought he would be on board. Wrong again! We were not there five minutes before he said, "I thought your sister was going to pick this stuff out for us." He did find a pair of duck slippers for the baby that he liked. So, at least she will have warm feet.
5. Adam works for an insurance company, so therefore we have very exaggerated safety requirements for consumer products. Call me crazy, but from what I witnessed not many items are going to make the cut! I think the wheels being off one carriage and the seat falling off of another did not give him the feeling that he was looking for.
6. Can someone tell me why babies don't take baths in the sink anymore? There were these GIANT plastic tubs that you are supposed to use. Where the heck am I supposed to put that thing when not in use? Perhaps we can turn it into some sort of kitschy wall art.
7. We didn't even make it down the textiles aisle. I am still baffled as to who the baby is "receiving" in those tiny blankets and why they need a duck on their head after taking a bath.
8. Is it just me, or do all of those little plastic toys look the same?

Calling all interested parties...we are going to have a dirty, naked, bored baby without your help. If someone wants to pick out some things for Baby Schnell I would be happy to send you my credit card number!